Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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