Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
