Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
