You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
