I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
