The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
