Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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