Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
