Your face is a jimmy john
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
