You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
