Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
