you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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