So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
