Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You took a bar mat shot.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
