At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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