Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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