will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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