:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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