FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
