I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
