just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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