feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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