I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
