So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
