I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
