I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The best revenge is premature balding
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
