your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
