I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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