i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
