If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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