the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
