apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
