My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
