just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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