I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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