I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
