remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
