just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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