We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We need to get me chipped asap
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
