babies were throwing up all over the place
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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