they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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