No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
