Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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