well you can't waste a boner
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
