yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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