There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
