I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
