It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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