Midget sex pt 2 tonight
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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