How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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